next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize