ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
