I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
