also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
