Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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