he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
