Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize