i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
