I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
