I'm going to jail i love you
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
nutella sex= disaster
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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