I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
