Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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