On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
