I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
