Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
