when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And my parents said I crawled through the house
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
