**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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