The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize