Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
