next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
