She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
