Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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