Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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