Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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