You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
