How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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