god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize