this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
