Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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