Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
