What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
