i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
do herpes really smell.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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