I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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