God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
So apparently I’m into choking now
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
