Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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