He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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