well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
