I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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