Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
