He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
