well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
