Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
worst night to have a conscience
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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