ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Are my feet made of real feet?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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