I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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