is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
