Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
