You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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