i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Randomize
