Kiss
Puke
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
