Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
