hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
