He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Semen is not good for contacts.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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