whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
