i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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