Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
