Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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