That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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