what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
