the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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