the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Two words: nipple clamps
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