My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Your penis caused this!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
