in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
